Over the past two weeks I’ve felt extremely uneasy and down. I never get depressed anymore but I definitely still alternate between periods of extreme happiness and lulls that aren’t nearly as happy feeling. If you’d like to see how I’m feeling add me on dailymile – how often I workout is a direct result of how I’m feeling about myself.
* I couldn’t sleep last night and therefore had to sacrifice my morning workout – I hope to do my speedwork while Logan naps [crosses fingers]
Periods of reflection often result in less time exercising and times when I have more energy and feel excited I workout more to gain balance. I think the key for me will be when I learn what types of physical activity to do during which periods. For that reason I am really looking forward to November and December, where I’ll have nothing to train for and I can really delve into my fit self to see what comes naturally.
Anyway, as you know I was sick, then I got my period and we all know how I feel about that and as mentioned on facebook, I started my week off losing a valued
friend acquaintance (in her words). I still don’t feel like my awesome self but I’m definitely on the right track – I find it best to allow myself these “down” periods so that I really sort through my feelings instead of pushing them aside, they’ll eventually come up to bite me, so may as well let them do it right away.
* outside heals all wounds and frees you from addictions and destructive behaviour. FACT.
So because I was feeling so down Lyndsey agreed to meet up with me for a nice relaxing girl talk and a walk along the credit river. I am really excited that our relationship as cousins has become so much more. We were always good friends as children and it’s nice that we both make an effort to get to know each other and hang out as often as we can
We walked at this park my brother regularly visits, as he’s been trying to get a 60min walk in every evening for his own good health and lo and behold…..we actually ended up running into him
* don’t take pictures with your phone when people are moving their hands into their pockets – they will suck.
This turned out to be perfect because as a blogger I now have a picture of Lyndz and me to show you you’re welcome.
* we went to starbucks both before and after our hike lol me and my reusable mug
It is just so nice for me to have girls to talk to that aren’t my mom Believe it or not I actually have a really difficult time making friends. I really don’t know why that is? most people aren’t as open as I am and therefore just end the relationship and I’m left wondering why. That’s why I love you online buddies You make me feel so loved <3
It’s hard making friends when you’re a mom, especially when you’re older and you really know yourself. I know what I want in a friend because I feel like I really know who I am, I know what I’m willing to change or work on, what I’m not. I know what I’m willing to do for another person, what doesn’t fit within my personal boundaries.
Anyway, if anyone wants to be my friend, I need some. I could really use some supportive resources these days
I would like to apologize for the “poor me” vibe of the downer post – as I am usually upbeat and happy however, you guys tell me you like me because I’m myself and honest and no one’s life is happy all the time. So I think it’s time for you guys to give me a virtual hug
1. do you have a lot of friends?? do you have a group of friends or just a few good ones??
I have a few acquaintances, my mom, my siblings, my husband and Lyndsey. I have been searching for that “best friend” but seeing as I lost mine when I became pregnant they can be hard to both find and replace – I don’t know how you create that with someone when you just can’t.
2. do you enjoy getting outside in nature?? what’s your favourite out door setting??
I love the forest! I like water and the beach but if I’m 100% truthful to myself there’s nothing like a good mixed forest with a creek meandering through it
3. do you find you fight your “lows” or just relax and work through them??
I always try to relax and FEEL through them. I have learnt (perhaps the hard way) that holding onto feelings and pushing the undesirable ones away can only result in further damage down the line. Visual meditation has helped me greatly in this regard. I also think it extremely important to have some days where you literally sit curled up on the couch eating popcorn and not judging yourself – you need those sometimes! lol
4. have you ever lost a good/best/close friend?? to death or from disagreements??
Yes, as mentioned above I lost my 2 closest friends, one for my own reasons, one for hers. I’ve been working through forgiveness on these relationships but inside my heart is crushed. (and once again, if I’m honest, if I ever see the one that hurt me I’d like to smack that cocky, arrogant smirk off her heartless face….and most likely will )